Tuesday, October 02, 2007

I Preach My Pessimism Right Out Loud to Anyone Who'll Listen

Just a few weeks ago I was envisioning the possibility that this coming Sunday the Bears could be playing against the Packers for first place in the NFC North. In fact, just before the Lions scored 34 points in one quarter, there was brief moment in the Pack/Vikings game where it looked entirely possible that Green Bay would give the game away to the Vikings, and the Bears would beat the Lions, in which case this weekend would be for the tie on top of the NFC North, with the Bears owning the tie-break. We all know how that went.

Now, though, I actually don't think the Bears have much of a chance at all of beating Green Bay. I was scared about their defense coming into this season, but I figured that by week 5, Chicago'd have been starting to figure out their offense and they might have enough to put up some points on the Pack. I'd actually be a little astonished, at this point, if the Bears even scored on offense this week. The Packers defense is going to annihilate the Bears offensive line, which means they'll cream the shit out of Griese, which means Ron Turner will just keep calling the same fucking bullshit plays because he won't think he can try anything new until something good and vanilla works for a solid quarter and a half first. The Packers will probably kick to Devin Hester, who'll provide about the only bright spots yardage wise for the Bears (they'll kick to Hester because they'll know it doesn't matter), and the Bears defensive line will probably get a few good and nasty sacks in of the Favre in the first and second quarters, but by the end of the game they'll be so tired from having played the entire game that the Packers running backs will be able to jog for first down after first down. And Favre won't ever have much trouble with the Bears secondary. That is just what is going to happen.

All of which does mean that if the Bears manage to pull out a victory over the Packers this weekend, I'll be nearly as excited about it as I would have been about a Super Bowl victory, which means that a Bears victory this weekend might actually make me happier than I've been about any Bears game except for their NFC Championship win last January.

I'm just not going to hold out my breath.

I hate you, Ron Turner. You ruined my favorite team because you're a moron, and I hate you. (Please please please please please make me eat my words! Hints: Use Greg Olsen! Use Garrett Wolfe! Use Devin Hester! Make a point of trying plays you haven't run yet this year! Use Greg Olsen for God's sake! Make it so the quarterback doesn't have to be the most important member of the offense! (I know you can do it... remember when Kyle Orton was your quarterback? And you had far fewer offensive weapons around him!) Take some fucking risks! You literally have nothing to lose, as you're offense so far has firmly established itself as the worst in the league (check out this weeks DVOA's over at Footballoutsiders... it's not even close...) Show a decent sense of urgency, at least...)

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