Sunday, February 10, 2008

23 is synonomous with god

I heard Joshua Cribbs's name a few times this season. I think he had like three maybe four touchdown returns. And I know ESPN needs to do something to make the pro-bowl seem interesting in any way, the NFL should have long ago taken care of this by plying it in the bye-week before the Super Bowl and not involving SB participants, but saying anything that even comes close to questioning Devin Hester's status as the all-time greatest return man ever, EVER is just blasphemy and lazy journalism.
I don't know what made me do it, I knew it was just going to make me angry and sad and sick-to-my stomach. But I clicked on this article and it was amazingly worse than advertised. I know Hester doesn't care because he is god in pads. He is humble and selfless and anything else good it is possible to be. They call AD purple Jesus, but Jesus is already in Chicago.
We who know must stand up to this blasphemy lest any foolish football fans read and actually believe that someone could be compared to 23. The article uses meaningless statistics showing that Cribbs has a better kick return average to claim that he is better at kickreturns and then suggests that Hester might agree. It goes on to call Cribbs more consistent and quotes him as saying something like, "I just want to get to the 40 everytime." It does at least have the decency to mention that Hester rarely sees a good ball while I haven't heard of anyone gameplanning around Cribbs. But the article fails to mention that the 40 is a disappointment for Chicago's special teams. Nor does it point out that Hester's TD/return ratio is nearly three times that of Cribbs or that in one more season and 102 more kickoff returns Cribbs has only equal the TD's of Hester. And if constantly causing the other teams headaches and forcing them to kick it out of bounds or face the lord's wrath isn't enough proof of consistency the Bears had the best avg. starting field position in the league this year.
Dream big Cribbs, dream about hitting the 40 every time you touch the ball, but know that while you're doing that 23's gonna keep scoring TDs whenever he gets his hands on the ball. Holding the Bears to the 40 is the subject of opposing team's dreams.

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