Monday, September 10, 2007

If Only Mike Brown were a Little Children

Ted Phelps has no idea what he's talking about. God doesn't hate fags; He hates Mike Browns. Or at least those Mike Browns that choose to play for the Chicago Bears. This is the third season in Mike Brown's career in which God has smote him, and done so mightily. In fact, this year He was so intent on destroying Mike Brown's knee that He accidentally damaged Greg Olsen's knee while warming up his knee-smiter last week, and this week destroyed Dusty Dvoracek's knee was also taken out as collateral damage. Hopefully, now the Brown's out for the season, God is pouring wine all over Himself in celebration and the rest of the Bears' key players are safe from knee smiting. But even this gloomy-ass cloud has some silver linings.

For Mike Brown: at least you're not Kevin Everett. I'm not even joking. While I feel really bad for Mike Brown, who's amazing to watch on the field and by all reports is a wonderful human being, who does not deserve at all the bad luck he's had the past few years, at least all that's threatened is his athletic career. Kevin Everett might not survive his injury, and if he does he'll likely never walk again. Football's a dangerous sport, and injuries like Kevin Everett's are exactly why the NFLPA should continue their nasty fight to get good strong pensions for ex-NFL players. I have no doubt that there will be someone in the NFL whose job it is to try to do whatever he can to figure out a way for the NFL to pay for as little of Everett's hospitalization as possible, to say nothing of the rest of his life. Frankly, I think the NFL should have to give Everett a big enough pension that he never has to worry about earning money. So, anyway, Mike Brown, you can at least be thankful that your life and full control of your faculties are not in danger.

For the Bears: Danieal Manning replacing Mike Brown does sort of alleviate one of the major concerns about having Brown and Archuleta as the two starting safeties: speed. Neither Archuleta nor Brown are particularly fast, and there was worry that they could be susceptible to being beat. Manning could rival Hester as the fastest member of the Bears, so there's not much chance of him getting beat (at least in a footrace) by a speedy wide receiver. Now, if only they could transfer a little bit of Mike Brown's personality into Manning...

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