Sunday, September 30, 2007

Ron Turner: Evil Mastermind?

Where is Greg Olsen? Where is Garrett Wolfe? What's wrong with Benson? What's wrong with the offensive line? Why haven't we figured out how to get the ball to Devin Hester? How is it that Brian Griese can come in and essentially replicate Rex Grossman's performance over the past three games? The troubles with the offense are so complete that there's not really any other person to point to except for Ron Turner.

There is only one explanation for his coaching this year, and it is that Ron Turner is on the take from some other team, (possibly Green Bay?) to sabotage the Bears. Either that or the ghost of Brett Favre's father has managed to pick up some new supernatural powers in the years since that famous Monday Night Football game and he used them to make Ron Turner completely retarded (and to convince Brad Childress that Tarvaris Jackson should be a starting quarterback), all so Green Bay would have a clear shot at the playoffs this season.

Actually, no. Ron Turner isn't an evil mastermind. He's just a total idiot. He is the worst offensive coordinator in the league, and he shouldn't have a job. I said he should've been fired after last season along with Rivera, and I've never been less happy to be right about something. Ron Turner is terrible. I hope he does the right thing and steps down to pursue a career as an independent landscaping contractor, or something similarly far away from football, though it would be infinitely more satisfying to hear Lovie Smith call Turner out as unfit for coaching. None of that will happen, though. Ron Turner will just continue to waste a ridiculously good special teams and defense by being hopelessly inept as an offensive coordinator, and he will be paid to do it. Jerk.

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