I Hate Preseason When It's Not Polite

The Bears play their first preseason game tomorrow, which means it's time for all the sports media to show just how stupid they are by analyzing the game like the final score and victor are in any way the point of preseason games. Hint: they're not.

I watched a little bit of the St. Louis/Minnesota game today, and I have to say, Tavaris (or Tarvaris?) Jackson actually looked like he might know what he's doing behind center for the Vikings. Which was a little disheartening. I was hoping I'd get a season's worth of revenge for that Bears game we saw in the Metrodome when Henry Burris played the most comically bad game of football I've ever witnessed. Instead, Jackson looked fairly poised and ran the ball forward very effectively a few times. Of course, St. Louis didn't to much to make it difficult for him, so it's hard to tell how he'll react to a playoff-caliber defense, or even a halfway decent NFL quality defense. He didn't score any touchdowns, which is what the Strib article I read was mostly pissed about, but he was only in for a the first few drives, and they were his first ever starting for an NFL team, I think, right? Did he start a few games at the end of last season?

Anyway, I won't get to see any of the Bears game tomorrow, because I'm going to this, which I'd already decided to go to before I even knew it would be a possibility that I'd be able to watch the Bears game. Only one of the SOPcasts I tried worked today, so I'm just going to convince myself the Bears/Texans one wouldn't work tomorrow. But what's especially frustrating is that I'm not at all confident I'll be able to find anywhere a discussion of what happens in the game tomorrow that will actually discuss anything of possible importance that could happen tomorrow.

And, really, this is pretty much it:

-if Orton plays significantly better than Griese, it would be another significant step for claiming the backup spot, which would make him just one more Grossman freak accident from being the starter again. (At what point last season did the primary knock against Grossman switch from his inability to stay healthy to his neurotic brain? In any case, I wonder if he'll ever get to start a season with people thinking mostly positive things about him?) I'm kind of rooting for Orton to overtake Griese. Mainly because, I think, Orton said his dream vacation destination is Iowa. That's just so cute! Also, Griese's name is a homonym for greasy, which is a synonym for sleazy, which makes it hard for me not to think Griese must be a total sleaze ball.

-all those receivers battling it out for a roster position that may not even exist. I'd say it's only about a 50/50 shot the Bears will even keep a sixth receiver. If they do, I think it'll be because they don't expect Hester to end up being the type of receiver option they can count on as more than a novelty (even so, he'd be a hell of a novelty), and they want one more receiver who could potentially be an every-other-down receiver if injuries start to pile up. From the sounds of it, there are actually some pretty talented guys playing for the spot, especially David Ball and Mike Hass. Watching these guys try to make a play every single time they get to move should be pretty fun. And there might be three sentences about it in the Chicago Press.

Meanwhile, there will be a at least one entire article about how undominating the defense was against the hapless Texan offense. The article will make it sound like that matters. Get worried, Bears fans!