What Is This Place?

From David Haugh's post-third-preseason game article: "for the Bears to ascend to the Super Bowl contenders they consider themselves, their quarterback cannot help the opponent score."

I've only finally just realized something that is actually pretty horrifying: Poor David Haugh is trapped in an alternate reality in which the Bears are not Super Bowl contenders! Who knows what is happening in the world Mr. Haugh has become stuck in? Maybe the Bears didn't even make the playoffs last year, because Rex Grossman didn't throw for a single completion to a Bears receiver! It's really sad, because I assume that on some level Mr. Haugh is a Bears fan, and he unfortunately missed out on the greatness of last season and will miss out on what is shaping up to be a second straight season of the Bears being card-carrying members of the NFL elite. That is the only explanation I can think of that Mr. Haugh would assume one of the only two teams to make the Super Bowl last year is not yet a Super Bowl contender.

It really doesn't say much for the editors of the Tribune, though, that they continue to run articles written by someone who's obviously reporting on a reality other than our own. Unless... Maybe they are actually aware of this fact, and know that only by running Mr. Haugh's articles can they stay in contact with him, and are working as we speak on a plan to rescue Mr. Haugh from this no doubt Raider-dominated universe. Good luck to them, I say! And my best wishes to poor Mr. Haugh. Wherever he may be...